Six Words, To Express, My feelings.

I,
And he,
Was the one.

                                   We dance

                                   On each other's

                                   Heartbeat

 

With you

In heaven

24/7        

She cried

While facing

Her fears.

 

She loved,

But never told,

Him

 

 

Her eyes glistened

At his thought.

 

 

Single

In a bed

For two

 

He had manipulated her

With verses.

 

They liked

The games

They played



She waited,

For him

To arrive.

Make up

and

Wake up

Together

 

 

 

Ready

To teach

And

To Learn.

 

 

 

Continued...

 

 

 

 

He waited patiently

For her love.

 

He watched her fall

In traps.

 

It hurt

To see her suffering.

 

She realised

She was hurting him.

 

They both knew

What remained untold.

 

 









Carelessly walking down Ego Lane

 











I was carelessly walking down Ego Lane,
Wondering why I'm not called Elaine,
When I heard something coming from down the road drain.

It was sudden and brutal and loud to my ear,
I had never considered a monster lived here,
So I instantly begged it would just disappear.

The clouds hid the sun
While my legs tried to run.
'Please, oh please disappear,
You monster called Fear!'

Blood rushed through my vein-
I tried to fight but in vain.
This monster grew stronger
As I just let it conquer.

I could hear its voice say
'You have no choice today'
All I wanted was to beat it
And to finally defeat it.

I stood up now straight and strong,
Proved to the monster it was wrong.
I looked around and far ahead
To realise this all was in my head.

A Light note

The hardest part is when nobody else can see in you what you can see in yourself.
If you don't show it, it will never be exposed.

It will never be exposed. Will it...

Sailing Turmoil

you see
the sea
reflects the light
from the sky
to my eye
and the sun and moon
play
with the sea
inside me

P.S.: Background music; Lila Downs Una Sangre (One Blood) highly relevant, darkest light :]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OLh982yYgg

'Everything is connected'

'Day and Night'

That kind of love. The Kind Love.

Thought I'd go to the bakery and call my mum for a chat. We ended up talking for 40 minutes and at some point she said 'follow your heart'. I was surprised by her advice. It was on point.

I was sat outside the bakery on a wall and a cat approached me. I think she could sense I was lonely. My voice cracked at some point.

It was when I started mentioning [insert name here].I thought I'd pet the cat. Besides,it looked like it needed love and affection.

As soon as his guard was down, he surrendered. The cat, I mean.

He crawled on my lap, sat there, receiving all the care I had to give. So effortlessly loving. Like we'd known each other for years.

And I thought to myself, this is the kind of love I'm looking for. The Kind Love.










.

Ten odd residents.

Picture this, a group of apartments facing the middle (the pool) and its ten odd residents. 
And then me.

One's an English lady who reads books and drinks wine, 
        the other's a father of unknown identity (Bulgarian?) with his two children,
   then me,
then a curious Cypriot old couple whose female member watched me eat on the balcony
                                and further away a Cypriot nan with her granddaughter.

They look at me with suspicion each time I'm on the balcony, on the rare occasions. 
Who is this young lady and what is she doing here alone?
Has she got no friends?
No family?

Relax my beloved, I come here in peace.

I have both friends and family. But I have abandoned them for the sake of my sanity. I am an intuitive empath, you see.

I needed my time and space to recollect my thoughts. To regain my energy and to stay focused on the cause. My dissertation, that is.

But it seems to me that, just like Homer's Ithaca, the journey will give me more than what the cause will.

The chair

Alone in an apartment between apartments. Pitch black apart from this balcony. Shadows are formed by light from the inside and darkness from the outside. In the naturally occurring silence I can hear my thoughts remembering the times when darkness hid the light; the days when I trusted doubt.

A dog barks. But I am not scared of a known danger. I am scared of an unknown. I want to know. If I know I won't be scared. If I knew I wouldn't have been scared. You should have told me. You should have told me your truth. 

Silence, music and thoughts feel the space with sound waves. I wonder if my heart's vibrations reach yours. I doubt it, for you are far. For you are in the past. For you are far in the past. And I wonder if you were ever as close as I felt you to be. Inside, the light is bright; it assures me you were. Outside, its absence is dark, like yours. 

I am the chair on the balcony. 
Embraced by both logic and intuition I wait for the morning where the truth will shine and I will know closure.