I figured that it might not be the person as such who is at fault but the natural evolution of the relationship with the subject. Sometimes it can only get better but other times it can only get worse.
To appreciate a piece of art, they say, you should look at it from a distance and understand the bigger picture. When I read the phrase 'The only way to appreciate something is to distance yourself from it for a while', I instantly disagreed. I rejected it. I believed the opposite: that you should get as close to it as possible! That way you would notice all the details and the colorful shades.
But thinking of it now, it makes sense to me. It makes sense because I realised that the closer I got to the picture, the blurrier the vision became. The eagerness to live it all to its most and get as close as possible, only modified its beauty into an image worth throwing away.
I questioned myself and others to the extend where it got tiring to even think of that situation; let alone live in it. That is always when I know I need my space. The next step is suffocation.
Taking a step back does not equate to abandonment; though it is usually perceived as such. It is unfortunate that I had to lose friends, acquaintances, even parents in the process of doing so, but knowing me I will keep running into the image and I will keep taking a step back when I need to.
