I want to apologise
for wanting you to be mine
when you already are
in a relationship
with
your
girlfriend
and partner in life.

i want to apologise for wanting 
something that isn't 
mine or anyone's 
or on offer at all.

i apologise for freezing 
when I see you
i have no words
i have no feelings
my heart gets tangled and i don't 
know
why
i'm apologising for something
that comes naturally 
and wants to shower you
like water
on a hot day.

Nobody knows this 
but i have no money on my name.
I walk around like I do,
cz I used to.
And when I used to,
I used to think money doesn't matter.
And it doesn't.
Cz life is now and not later
Waiting for the future
is ignoring that the present's greater.

Someone who sees me as art;
Not a piece of woman
Not a figure.

I've been infected
With restless whispers
And cheats -
Just like disclosure.
But I found closure
Knowing
You believed in what you heard
And not what you felt.
Who does that?
That - never mind
No one ever trusted the new self
That soon
Anyway.

Give way,
Go away,
Come around
But stay.

Dreaming in love

I woke up from a dream;
Wishing I wasn't dreaming.
The kissing was intense
And all that i was feeling.

It did feel very real;
And I thought I was there
Cz I was very happy
And love was in the air.

I can't believe I'm here
And that we're not together
But I still hope that this feeling
Stays with me forever.

Some Thoughts

Poor hearts feeling the pain.

They're like dry desserts with no rain.

We miss the point of having fun by

trying to prove it.

I'd rather be rejected for being real

than being liked for being fake.

Sometimes we are fooled into

thinking what we look at is actually all

there is to see.

We give ourselves reasons to be

angry, in an attempt to cover the

reasons we are unhappy.

Knowing how it feels to be helpless

should be enough motivation to help

others.

Shouting out for love but nobody's 

listening. (Not hearing, listening.)

Finding in him what you have been 

looking for. What if you have not

been looking for omething?

Too many numbers, I'm confused.

Say it how it is cz that phrased is overu

To Die For

Like the black plague

You came into my life

Paralysing every part of my body

But my heart.

An epidemic I never wished for

An epidemic I could have never intended for myself

Or anyone else.

An epidemic I watch growing inside me

An epidemic I carry with me

and contain others with

While containing myself from the cure

Merely to keep the momentum between

love and death alive by killing

Myself

For living without you.