Randong Londay

Some

Times

Friendship

Needs

No 

Explanation

The Graduant

For some of us it was surreal.
For me, it was surreal.

All the unusual and positive elements of life gathered together for: The Graduation.
Anticipation, excitement, restlessness.

Families arriving, providing everything missing in their absence.
Sausages, cheese and dolmadakia arriving in masses while we try to cope with the overwhelm. Not ready to receive my own culture and language, I nonetheless go with the flow in an attempt to seize the day. And I seized it.

Friends' parents and siblings recognising my face from Facebook pictures and being delighted to have FINALLY met me in person. And their approach; unbelievably loving.
Strangers treating me like their own daughter, with love and care. It shocks me. It shocks me positively to feel so welcomed. And to know that this warm approach still exists within humanity.

I have received unbelievable appreciation these past few days and the feedback people have given me shows how each person receives the kindness you give- even if it is not always obvious.

The Day
Excitement to the max, everyone looking good and happy. Happy to see each other achieve. Cz that's what it was- an award of achievement.

Which lasted only a few minutes

before   it was all lost again.

The Night

Celebrating with a touch of extra confidence deriving from everyone's admiration and the graduant himself. A constant smile on the face and a smiling heart.

Plain nirvana, complimented by some wine.

And what better way to end the night other than being locked out of your house AND your room?

No better way!

So my night continues with a sleepover after a kind heart agrees to share their bed with me. 

I sleep in my dress. Making it a real graduation night.

Feeling glamorous even when I'm dreaming.

Feeling pretty even when I'm drooling.

The End

Last night my mum was making makaronia tou fournou [pastitsio much?] in my Canterbury kitchen. That was surreal. For many, different reasons, it was surreal. Five girls, sat around a table and it felt right; to genuinely be nice to eachother- after whatever feelings in the past. And it proved my point-

everyone is capable of being a sweat heart [or a complete ****] at any given time.

Now I'm just washing clothes and cleaning my room. Packing away the memories and returning to reality. 

And my little finding makes me laugh that I wore this dress for 18 hours without realising I hadn't removed the price tag... 

Humor does make everything better.

-------------------What you need

If I didn't need to be loved

then maybe I would want it.

If I didn't need to know the truth

then maybe I would look for it.

If I didn't need criticism

then maybe I would take it.

But I do

so I don't.

Because you deserve it.

Whatever makes people stay in an abusive relationship?

Disrespect, Rudeness, Emotional Torture- Literal Punches.

THe Hope tHat tHe situation will cHange. THat's wHat makes one stay. THe Hope.

The attachment to a nicer scenario.
The belief that things will turn out as we imagine.
Peaceful and Loving scenarios.

It is what, in the same way, keeps an abused woman in an abusive relationship, there, helpless and weak in the belief that her strength to push through will change her abuser's behaviour.

It is a give and take relationship.

A give and take of abuse.

So both feel the comfort of bonding as the abuse continues and a single moment of affection or kindness deletes the previous wounds.

But it shouldn't.

It doesn't heal the wounds.

And who wants open wounds?

<< We accept the love we think we deserve>>

...appears on my Facebook Feed

--------------------nothing------------------

There is so much access to

everything;

that nothing really feels like 

something.

Too much and too many of

anything

leaves us all here with

nothing.

This Cynical World

It makes me sad,
to see that a world of beauty,
nature,
and choice;
has become a cynical place of passiveness.

It makes me sad,
to think that the unbearable,
unbelievable feeling of content,
and excitement,
have become rare occasions.

It makes me happy,
that a child's day,
was made a best day of his life,
when a stranger gave him nothing more than,
balloons,
and happiness.

p.s. : He looked at the balloons as an adult would look at gold.

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.Time is Knowledge.

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