The chair

Alone in an apartment between apartments. Pitch black apart from this balcony. Shadows are formed by light from the inside and darkness from the outside. In the naturally occurring silence I can hear my thoughts remembering the times when darkness hid the light; the days when I trusted doubt.

A dog barks. But I am not scared of a known danger. I am scared of an unknown. I want to know. If I know I won't be scared. If I knew I wouldn't have been scared. You should have told me. You should have told me your truth. 

Silence, music and thoughts feel the space with sound waves. I wonder if my heart's vibrations reach yours. I doubt it, for you are far. For you are in the past. For you are far in the past. And I wonder if you were ever as close as I felt you to be. Inside, the light is bright; it assures me you were. Outside, its absence is dark, like yours. 

I am the chair on the balcony. 
Embraced by both logic and intuition I wait for the morning where the truth will shine and I will know closure. 

A published journey of thoughts

Guantanamo in me 
p.24, issue 19: http://issuu.com/scarabeoisland/docs/scc_issue_19s


Life is a game
p.24, issue 18: http://issuu.com/scarabeoisland/docs/scc_issue_18


The Absent Presence
p.24, issue 17: http://issuu.com/scarabeoisland/docs/scc_issue_17


Attitude: Confident(ial)
p.21, issue 16: http://issuu.com/scarabeoisland/docs/scc_new_design12_issuu


The Selfless Gene
p.19, issue 15: http://issuu.com/scarabeoisland/docs/scarabeo_december_issuu


One Hand.
p.16, issue 14: http://issuu.com/scarabeoisland/docs/scarabeoccnov


Why so serious?
p.16, issue 13: http://issuu.com/scarabeoisland/docs/scarabeo_cc_october_small


GAP
p.16, issue 12: 
http://issuu.com/scarabeoisland/docs/scarabeo_cc_september


Vision is blurry
p.13, issue 11: 
http://issuu.com/scarabeoisland/docs/scarabeo_cc_july-august


Love for ever now
p.13, issue 10: 
http://issuu.com/scarabeoisland/docs/scarabeo_cc_june_small


Rope; Balance. Fall. Rope;
p.13issue 9: 
http://issuu.com/scarabeoisland/docs/scarabeo_cc_may


- begtation
p.21, issue 8: 
http://issuu.com/scarabeoisland/docs/scarabeo_cc_april


Diary Entry,
p.5, issue 7: 
http://issuu.com/scarabeoisland/docs/scarabeo_cc_march


Cut my hands and use them
p.5, issue 6: 
http://issuu.com/scarabeoisland/docs/scc_februarya


Alone and Lonely.
None or Both.
p.5, issue 5: 
http://issuu.com/scarabeoisland/docs/scc_january


Me no speak Elinikano!
p.5, issue 3: 
http://issuu.com/scarabeoisland/docs/scarabeonovemeber


Εν αξυπολητη παιθκια!
p.5, issue 2: 
http://issuu.com/scarabe

'Forgotten Dreams'

I'm listening to fall-in-love music and I wonder if I ever fell in love...

Actually, I have fallen in love, but have I ever loved?

If I had I'd known, wouldn't I?

Sometimes I feel so intensely for some people. An explosion; the butterflies...
and I wonder if that's what it is- and whether I will have the chance to experience it fully.

The Result

[ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-p5vvkNGK4  

(Don't give up until you see the result)]

Rocking back and forth on the beat of a song, hoping my heartbeat is as synchronised as this melody-

while my eyes water.

My eyes water

in the realisation 

I've made it through.

I've made it through

the good and

the bad.

The bad

that was

cruel to my heart.

Cruel to my heart

and inconsiderate of

love.

Love

which was used and

abused.

Abused

by those who could not

live up.

Live up

to the greatness of

a challenge.

A challenge

whose only test is

its journey.

Its journey

which makes you want to 

give up.

Give up

and think your efforts were 

wasted.

Wasted

for not giving you enough in 

return.

Return 

to innocence and see

the light.

The light

that can only be seen at 

the end.

The end

Turning Tables

You've been tripping between what you have
what you want
and what you could have.
The three could co-exist with efforts and mutality
but the promising thought
guarantees the latter two.
However, the risk of losing what you have
which could,
potentially,
be combined with what you want and
what you could have
is tricky.
So do you go for what you want,
or make what you have be what

you could have?

Cz we only play 'all in' when we've

got nothing to win.



Is this life?

Instead of holding hands,
we're holding drinks.
Instead of looking to the eyes,
we look at screens.

Anomie
is troubling me.
Anomie,
what will it be?

When the great dream
that you deem
to be true and real
fails you
and you collapse
thinking life is but
surreal.

When you're so close
but so far
to being happy
and content

without having to pretend
that you're alright.

When you can't accept
your loving image
through others' eyes-
you deny beauty
and love
like the advert of Dove.

When you know
your intuition says go
but you stop to think
about your dream
that you deem-
meanwhile stolen by someone
who sleeps better at night.

Renaissance Hearts

I'm honestly not feeling

these interactions.

Tired and not bothered 

to perceive their actions

Thinking why should I bother?
Or how should I do?
Then thinking 'go with the flow'
and your thoughts shall too.

Over-thinking situations

and life itself; over-thought

Trapped in troubled thinking

when they thought you won't

Why do people feel this way,

and why don't they talk?

If you like me tell me

if you don't, just walk

What are your expectations,

or do you not have any?

Let's become renaissance hearts

and not just two of many.